Mai's Travel Journal: Chapter 8 - Ha Noi

Monday, September 27th, 2004

I left Cao Bằng on the 6 am bus and the welcoming sign at the Mỹ Đình bus stop appeared in front of my eyes at 3:30 pm.

A feeling of new and familiar senses intermingled in me. Firstly, because the bus drivers looked very familiar (I used to take the bus on a monthly basis while I was a student!), but it still felt a bit strange because now I had to pay instead of just showing my card.

I surprised my family with my shrill voice from the gate. Everyone seemed to have grown quite a bit. I felt very happy.

Tuesday 28th September 2004

I had a "familiar yet strange" feeling on the way to the UNV office.  I peered around each street corner.  I wondered how stupid I must have looked; if anyone noticed me, please let me know.

Peeking through the window panes, I saw a familiar face and a strange new face.  The familiar person is Vern, through whom I share my journal with you.  The stranger turned out to be a familiar person to me? Mr. Nam Anh - whom I had talked to by phone from Lai Chau.  Today, I finally met him in person.

My mixed feelings of strangeness and familiarity were gradually replaced by an anxiety at not being able to finish everything I needed to do before boarding the train for Hue on the 29th of September.

Nevertheless, my worries soon passed, once things were being accomplished. I felt more worthy and confident in myself.

I went to the Hanoi train station to buy my ticket for my trip to Hue tomorrow night.  This is the first time I've bought a train ticket for myself alone.  The arrivals, departures, and train schedule boards got me all confused.  I decided not to read anymore and just buy the ticket.  It was relatively quick and easy.  I went home with the ticket, quite happy with myself.

Sitting comfortably on the bus, I don't know why I looked at the train ticket again but I noticed on the ticket the date of September 30th was printed.  Only when I returned to the train station, exchanged my ticket and asked two other travelers to double check the ticket again for me, did I feel secure enough to go home.  (Guaranteed it's accurate this time).

I'm like that, prone to making mistakes; mistakes which others would have easily recognized.  Anyway, I am still a lucky person because even when I make mistakes, I catch it just in time and still have an opportunity to rectify it.

Wednesday, 29th September 2004

I spent almost all of my day at a computer, just like the time I worked on my graduating thesis.  Staring eyes, pecking fingers and racing mind? All kept on with their countless repetitions.  I felt assured with each letter of the alphabet passing through.  It seems like I do my work with diligence and perseverance, right?

When everything had settled down is when I had to get ready to go to the train station; more packing, more goodbyes and more departures?
The Hanoi train station is jam packed with people waiting for their train. My anxiety and impatience are nothing compared to those of other passengers.  I learnt a new experience about being patient:  When you're feeling discouraged, just go to a train station, and look at the exhausted, or non-exhausted, faces of waiting passengers, then compare them with each other and with yourself.  Everything will be fine.  That's my experience of waiting acquired during these trips.

By the time the train was ready to leave, I was already in my seat and was looking around.  The entire car was quite empty.  I got two whole seats to myself.  I kept looking out the window toward the warm lights, sometimes close, sometimes far, until there was only a vast darkness outside.  I felt asleep without knowing it.